every person on the planet

As i sit on a king size bed in the beautiful country of spain, i can’t help but bring along the overthinking trait i had back in britain. it’s 2:07am on a monday morning, and i can’t help but lie here and feel a wave of overthought thoughts drown my sleepy mind. i’m in spain, in hopes of having a relaxing holiday, and so far so good, with a burnt chest and a freckley face, i did well in reaching my max tan level of a normal brit in a foreign country. this is the 4th night in a row where i have seen the number 3 on my phone screen followed by AM....i try and concentrate on the following day, sitting by the pool, having a ice loll, getting brunt like a crisp but these anxious and stressful thoughts swaltz in like a cowboy bowling through those waist high wooden doors in a john wayne movie. these drowning thoughts are indeed magic, they have the power to sprint through time. as i turn the love of life on its side, created by me and steve jobs, the brightness of the screen fades and time reads at 10:30pm but these thoughts can magically make it become 2am right before your very eyes. as a kid i was scared of the monster under my bed but now i drag out the process of falling asleep because the monster now, has pulled up a seat in my mind and feeds off my desperation for some shut eye. these headache thoughts go from something you never thought was an issue and before you know it, youre back on what made steve jobs a billionaire that i quoted earlier as the love of my life, the brightness of the screen and all the colours that follow brainwash me and in fact assist the magic thoughts arise from the dead. this whole process of lying awake thinking of these flowing demanding thoughts is to uncover the secret process of making a reminder to remind you to overthink that overthought thought in the morning. i know i’m my own worst enemy but sleepy me, is too tired to fight off this process of these creeping thoughts overtaking my ambition to sleep and at this moment i am now distracting myself by writing a useless paragraph at now 2:21am. the amount of scenarios i’ve have played out, the amount of anxious reminders that have peered over me like a rain cloud, the amount of times i have talked to myself is ridiculous to get myself to sleep, mentioning swear words that i can’t even compute right now. i know i’m not the only one who suffers with this battle of fighting themselves to sleep at night, and rattling the covers, switching from side to side and the overbearing headaches that follow these magic thoughts but sometimes it feels like i’m the only one on this earth that thinks about these as much as myself. it’s exhausting overthinking little things that can....(dramatic pause)...truthfully...wreck my entire day; this can be simple and stupid things like picking up on someones tone. the whole day i’ll sit there and wonder why they said that like that, did i speak to them like that, did i do something wrong, the battle of asking them are you ok with me, then the anxious battle of sounding like an idiot for asking them, then wondering if they secretly hate me, then picking out my own flaws and arguing with myself (saddo alert) about these flaws i have...which over the years has created a list. i’m constantly tired of hearing my own voice in my head (jesus christ this sounds so sad) but i know i’m not the only one who does this; but it’s hard admitting how petty and overthinking i am to anyone. having this amount of stress about my anxious thoughts is thankful to no one but me; thank the lord i have crappy food and american sitcoms...i am ok and i am happy, it’s nice sometimes getting this all out to no one and not having someone tilt their head to the side like a puppy and asking if i’m deeply ok. as it reads again 2:34am, i am ok and i am happy but sometimes i not.